Two Years.

Two years have passed since you stepped across time. Passed through the tesseract and into Heaven. I often wonder what you’re doing. Are you singing worship songs? Are you asking questions? Making art?

Are you watching us?

Do you see what’s new down here? Two little grandsons of yours. Brady James and Bo William. Our little men. They are too cool. You would love them.

They will love you.

A lot has changed in two years. We have grown in fits and bursts just like these little guys grow. Lots of feedings, lots of sleep and we wake up taller, stronger, wiser.

At first it was hard to imagine what good God would bring out of this. We knew He would, because He does. It’s who He is – His nature. But to see it happen? I wondered if I would have eyes to see it. But I can. I am starting to see it now. Glimpses of good. of great.

And the pain is still there, under the surface  Рjust a memory, a place, a song, a meal or a scent away. But the grief is not all consuming now. Another glimpse of growth.

Today I told Brady and Bo about you. I told them how you loved God, how you showed us how to make a party out of anything. I told them how you fought so hard for life and how you looked forward to heaven. They heard about your love of art and beauty. Their eyes watched me as I shared about your pictures and your writings and your cooking and baking. How your love poured out of each action. And they may have learned a funny story or two – like running out of gas three times in two weeks.

Earl and I tell them about all their grandparents.

Grandma and Grandpa in Florida.

Opa in Germany.

And Grandma in Heaven.


35 Weeks 4 Days

I have always been competitive, but this is ridiculous. I have now made everyone stop giving me goals to hit before these babies are born. At 29 weeks I was admitted to the hospital for preterm labor and our doctor said we had a goal of 32 weeks. Twenty-one days later we were discharged with both babies still tucked safely in my womb. As we were leaving the nurse said she would see us in JULY when our babies would be born (it was June 7th). I chuckled and thought, “There is NO WAY we will make it until July.”

Our doctor said we should try to make it to 34 weeks. And then to 35 weeks.

And here we are – in JULY at 35 weeks and 4 days. All I know is these babies better come soon or I am going to explode!

It does feel like we are getting closer. All contractions are accompanied by cramping and now nausea. Yay for third trimester nausea! And plenty of other “fun” signs that labor is imminent.

Baby A is still head down and almost fully engaged (he’s at a -1 station) and Baby B is head down but a little sideways. We are still going to try to avoid a C-section for both babies.

Who knows – maybe these boys will make their arrival in the next 24 hours!

Life at 35 Weeks

What does life look like at 35 weeks pregnant with twins?

Mostly sitting around – because you are too swollen and sore to walk.

Applying a lot of lotion – because your skin is raw and feels like it will burst.

Drinking warm soy milk with honey – because heartburn is no joke.

Reading books – because you need to stay occupied and distracted.

Watching TV – see above.

And hoping each contraction will lead to labor – because you are over it and ready to meet your babies.